Saturday, May 20, 2017

Don't Look Down On Yourself.



 Have you ever felt, Oh! Why am I worthless? Have you ever felt, oh! I am a "nobody". You feel, "Why are things not working out the way they should for me"? You have tried several things and none of them seem to be going your way. And when you look around you, you see people rolling out drums for having achieved what you wish to achieve. And you feel diminished the more. You feel, what a he'll is this? And you will say to yourself, life sucks. If you have felt that way before, let it be known to you that you are not alone. Lots of people out there have also found themselves struggle with a similar heart wrenching thoughts.
Now, the truth is that what makes you feel that "nobodyness" in you is the "somebodyness" which exist and is still alive in you. If there is no sense of "somebodyness" in you, you will  not feel like a nobody if things don't work out your way.

Some people don't get things done and they are not bothered. There are some people that are not producing result, yet they they don't give a damn. 
"Naturally, the case is worse for those who do not know and they don't know that they don't know". It is the same for those who don't know and they don't bother that they don't know.

Now, there are two ways to this;there are those who are not getting things done and are not bothered. This set of people are not bothered because they feel that they are already lost in life. To this set of people, nothing matters. They are hopeless and they don't intend to do any thing about it. That is on one hand.
Then on the other hand, there is yet this other set of people who don't bother when things don't go their way. For this set of people, they don't bother, and this is not because they are hopeless or that they do not care. This set of people don't bother or look down on themselves because they understand the vicissitudes of life. This group of informed souls is aware that failure is not final but just a feedback. You find out that though this set of people failed to get things done as expected, they will not give up or resort to looking down on themselves. The will not begrudge themselves because they know that he who fail today will succeed tomorrow.
May be in your case, you are not producing the result you expect and you are not okay with it. This situation doesn't go down well with you because you want or you expect that you can do better or even the best. So, what this implies is that you are not worthless.  And the reason why you are not worthless is because you don't like the outcome of your efforts. 
You don't like the fact that you are not producing the kind of result that you want and you wish that it is different. Therefore, it doesn't warrant you looking down on yourself. What the situation warrant is dusting yourself and start looking out for opportunity to Wright the wrong. Re-strategize. Once you are convinced that the object of your target is worth it, you don't change your focus, instead you change the methodology.
The fact is that when you look down on yourself, you will see yourself as an empty vessel. You will begin to under value yourself. And when you feel that you have little or no value, you will automatically lose motivation and as a result become incapacitated to move on. And that is tilting towards more experiences that will strengthen your negative perception of yourself.
Now, what are those experiences that have the potential to make you look down on yourself?
Sometimes you look down on yourself because of how others treat or have treated you.
When some people around you such as your spouse, your colleagues, your acquaintances and sometimes strangers treat you with disdain. Talk to you disrespectfully, you may be forced to look down on yourself. You may be forced to start thinking that something is wrong with you as a person which in most cases is not true. Although sometimes, your own disposition or demeanor may be responsible for how others treat you, however, in the majority of cases, it may not be a reaction to your action but a transfer of aggression or an outright show of ill manners by a person towards you.
In most cases you are not responsible for the ill treatment meted out to you. Sometimes, it is someone who has inferiority complex or a person who has emptiness in him or her that is trying to transfer it into you. So, you don't have to look down on yourself. Remember, your self worth is indestructible. Below is a quote I saw somewhere. I guess you may like it. It says,

"You are going to meet a lot of mean and disrespectful people in your life. Don't let them hurt you. Don't let their bitter and evil words break the surface of your skin. Keep your dignity, remain true to yourself, be the better person. They need help. It's not up to you to fix them or put up with them. Just smile and walk away".

For me, I view such negative actions toward me as a normal break which can come from anyone and targeted to anyone and it can only affect me if I allow it. Sometimes I tell people not to own certain derogatory remarks made at them. Don't take it as an attack premeditatively designed for you. You never can tell. May be it is straying comment looking for a person who is receptive to it. And even in some cases when the comment is meant or designed for you, it a wise decision to shake it off you and move on instead of looking down on yourself. 

Another factor that can make you to look down on yourself is when you expect much from people and they fell short of your expectation of them.
All of us are human beings and it is a fact that no human is an island. No individual lives in a complete isolation. Which means that in one way or the other we interact with one another. And as a result of this inevitable coexistence among everyone of us, either by omission or commission, willingly or unwillingly, we tend to engage in acts that may lead us to us expect certain things either tangible or intangible from people who are in our contact.
Again, we know that everyone of us is a bundle of imperfection. And this makes us susceptible to disappointing others(falling short of other peoples' expection). And others falling short of our own expectations too.
Now, in order to shield yourself from disappointment from people which may lead you to looking down on yourself, you must bear it mind just like we just read that everyone of us is an imperfect being and are prone to disappointing others. The button line is, don't expect much from people in spite of whom the person may be to you. However, even when you hinge your expectation on someone which you must, it will be a wise decision to be prepared for the shock that may ensue as a result of "unmet expectation" from people. So, having pre girded yourself with such a shock absorbing mindset, it will be easy for you to experience disappointment or "unmet" expectations without causing you to look down on yourself.

Another factor, that can make one look down on oneself is the result of medical examinations. Some time ago, I was opportuned to meet someone whose self perception deteriorated within a twinkle of an eye. This was a guy who prior to the the time he received the result of a medical investigation, oozed out enthusiasm. He was a vibrant personage. A very sociable fellow. However, all these attribute got lost by the time he got the result of a medical examination. His sudden withdrawal from his social circle and the subsequent slump into a depressive mood made people to ask what the issue was with him. It was later discovered that he was diagnosed of a rare medical condition.
As a result, this one time man of courage, began to look down on himself. This was a person who has always known how to get things done. But as days went by, his self confidence continued to ebb. 
Now, this could have happened to anyone. And for me, it would be unfair to conclude that his sudden change in perception of himself was uncalled for.
What I would say is that in such situations, we should understand that being diagnosed of a terminal illness is not the termination of one's life.

I remember a story told by Steve Jobs of Apple on his health problems. In year 2005, in a speech he presented during a graduation ceremony in Stanford university, he told a story about him being diagnosed of a rare type of prostate cancer which was confirmed by the doctor as inoperable. And due to the rarity of the said cancer, he was adviced by his doctor to put his house in order in preparation for a journey of no return. He said that the diagnoses created panic in his family. He felt bad, however, he went for another diagnoses which it's result stated that the cancer can be operated and remove surgically. So, he went for the operation, and it was successful. And after the operation, he lived many more years. 
In the said speech, he said something that should encourage anyone who may be or may have found him or herself in such a situation. He said that "death should not be feared because it is a debt which everyone must pay". Rather we should be concerned about what we are here to do on earth. Even at the face of the diagnose, he continued to work as the CEO of Apple. He focused more on living a lasting and impressive legacy behind than focusing on the fear of death.
So, don't allow unfavourable results of medical examination make you to look down on yourself. 

My own humble opinion is that instead of slumping into despondency, you should find more ways of engaging yourself in things that can benefit humanity starting from the people around you. Also, try and pursue your dreams if you have any with the last drop of your blood. Remember, the truth is that you are more powerful than you think.so don't look down on yourself.


How To Actualize A Dream



There are litanies of challenges that almost every one of face in life. And one of the biggest of all these challenges is that of actualizing our dreams. Most of the time we encounter challenges which sometimes make it difficult for us to actualize our dreams. And that is why each and everyone us of become happy each time we create a dream and realize it. I am pretty sure that many of us already have dreams that we want to actualize. And yet there are some here who in the future will create dreams which they will like to bring to fruition. Also, many of us have at one time or the other tried to make a dream a reality but failed. So, for this reason, we are going to talk about "How To Actualize Your Dreams". We are going to look at a tested and trusted six practical steps to actualize your dreams.

1. Know who you are.

 
In order to actualize your dreams in life, you need to know who you are. Knowing who you are is key to actualize your dreams in life. This is because when you know who you are , it will enable you to create a dream that resonates with you.
knowing who you are is a great asset when it comes to creating and actualizing a dream. When you know who you are it will enable you to know your core competence. The knowledge of yourself will enable you to be abreast with your strength. You will agree with me that it is easier to reach a dream that has to do with what you can do. A dream woven round your area of strength.
To know yourself also means to know your weaknesses. I would also contend that knowing your weakness is a great asset. I consider it a great asset in the sense that when you know who you are then instead of wasting your time struggling to do what you cannot do, it is better to channel it towards your area of competence. For more importance of knowing who you are. Read "Who are you?


2. Have a dream, an aim or a purpose.

The very important first step to actualizing your dreams is to have a dream, an aim or a purpose. When you create a dream, a signal is usually sent to your subconscious mind to give it the information about what you want. And subsequently your subconscious mind will focus on that dream. The dream will give you a sense of direction. It will serve as a sign post to where you are going. The reason why some people keep doing something new and keep succeeding is because they create dreams and work hard and smart to realize them. And on the other hand, the reason, why some are not making progress is because they do not have any dream that they are to work on. And due to lack of dreams, they remain stagnant.
Every multinational companies or organisation we see today started as a dream. Large corporations like Microsoft, Apple, Dangote group, Mcdonalds, Facebook, Glo Nigeria, Western Union and many others started as a dream in the mind of the founders.
The above mentioned companies were like the dream you have in your mind right away as you are reading this article. So, don't discard that dream in your mind. It is a microcosm of what is capable of becoming a conglomerate in the future.

3. Develop yourself


I always say that "The best development in life is the development of yourself". To develop yourself, means to engage in self development activities. It means learning new skills. Developing yourself  is another important action that you will take to enable you accomplish your dreams in life. We all know that no one was born with the whole information or knowledge he needs to be all that he or she wants to be in life. So, in order to realize your dreams or goals in life, there is need to garner information that will help you accomplish them. 
I learnt about a 35 years old man who suddenly developed interest in dancing and choreographing. He never danced professionally before. But his passion for acrobatic dance grew beyond measure. And one day he woke up and decided to look for a dancing school. He found one and started learning how to take dancing steps from the scratch. He started to practice dancing even during his spare time. And after a period of six months he graduated from the dancing school and he started dancing during shows. 
When he told some of his colleagues about going to a dancing school, some of them thought it was insane to think of going to dancing school at the age of 35. But here he is today participating in shows as a dancer.
What he did was that he developed himself by learning dancing skills which was what he needed to become a dancer.
This applies to everyone of us. To actualize any dream, we need certakn skills. Once you create a dream, you determine the type of skills that the dream requires and you go ahead to acquire them.

4. Start with what you have


It was Zig zigla, an American life coach who said that, "You don't have to be great to start but you have to start to be great". There is  no perfect time to do what you want to do. The secret is, just go into the game once you have enough information to get you started. The truth is that we learn by doing. That is; we learn faster by doing that which we want to learn.
In order to accomplish your dreams at the record time, it is imperative to know that it is practically impossible to have all that one requires before one goes ahead to work on one's dreams. That is to say, you don't need to have everything needed before you set out on the journey to actualuzing your dreams. The bottom line is , start with what you have where you are. The fact is that once you start, the rest of the requirements will take care of themselves. 
Don't be afraid of starting small. Just like many other projects that started small but are at their peak today, you too can start small today and become big tomorrow.

5. Get a role model.  


Whatever you want to do today, there are people who are already experts and role models in it. That is; there are people who have done so well in that area and beginners look up to them. What you need to do is to study the life these people or meet them in person and ask them questions and they will always willingly provide answers to your questions. So, in order to actualize you dreams, you need to get a role model. The role model will help you avert mistakes that you would have encountered if you don't have one. The role model will help navigate you through some challenges that are inherent in the kind of dream you are pursuing. 
Depending on your area of specialisation,  below are few people that we considered to role models.

1. Less brown
2. Mark Zuckerberg
3. Larry Ellison or Oracle corporation 
4. Genevive Nnaji An actres

Form partnership


In order to accomplish your dreams, you need to liase with others who are in the same field with you. When you enter into an agreement with a person who does what you do, it will lead to information sharing between or among the partners. When you are in partnership with someone, you can take advantage of the person's networks. And your partner(s) will also take advantage of your networks. And that will help you in actualizing your dream.
We have witnessed even big companies merging together to form a formidable structure in the form of a company. A partnership that will take a larger share of the market. 
As a beginner, it is important to combine with someone else who you think can be of use to you. Depending on the terms of the agreement, some time a partnership deal has an expiration dates after which the partners go their separate ways. But before the the partners must have taken the advantage inherent in it.

                       DREAM WORKSHEET

Fill out the dream worksheet and follow them up practically.

My dreams are:
(A).................................................................
(B).................................................................
(C).................................................................

What I need to do to actualize them
(A).................................................................
(B).................................................................
(C).................................................................
(D).................................................................
(E).................................................................

(Good luck in your journey to accomplishing your dreams)



Also, read the following articles.

1. Don't Look Down On Yourself

2. The vastness of "The Wealth In You"

3. How to get things done.

4. Don't take "No" for an answer when it comes to the issue of your success

5. How the foundation of success is the wealth in you.

6. Believe in yourself

7. How to be successful in life

8. The wealth in you quotes for failure-proof mentality

9. How to change any situation

10. Asking the golden question

11. The wealth in you quotes
Watch this Video by Less Brown. The legendary motivational speaker





.


Who are you?
A very important question that you must ask yourself.
A correct answer will help you to discover yourself.
WHY DO YOU NEED TO KNOW YOURSELF?




Sunday, May 14, 2017

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF

"Everyone around may say; No! You can't. But if you say, yes I can, then you are right"               ---------Emeka Agbedo
I believe strongly that the indispensable first step to becoming successful in life is to believe in yourself against all odds. I mean against all internal and external opposing thoughts and suggestions. Believing or having a total confidence in yourself is the biggest secret to getting things done in life. It has also been the fundamental human trait which helped a lot of those who are successful in one area of their life or the other. In short it is responsible for what you have been able to achieve in life so far. It has worked and it is still working for many of us though we are unaware of it.
It is usual that each time we are asked to mention or list the characters or traits that one needs to possess in order to be successful in life, the list always look like this; persistence, determination, being positive, honesty, working hard/studying hard, save for the rainy day, doggedness, and lots more to be mentioned.
Now, there is no doubt that the above mentioned traits are exactly what we need . However, one fact that many of us are yet to know is that those traits, though are straight to the point, they are not going to produce results or be effective if the subject or the person who possess them do not believe in him or herself.
Each and everyone of us has been able to do whatever we have done since all our lives because we believed we can. The truth is that no one can be persistent if he does not believe he can be. No one can be determined if he or she does not believe he or she can be. None of us can be positive if we do not believe we can be. And you can't work or study hard if you don't believe you can .
The undeniable truth here is that we were all created with the psychological, physical, emotional, spiritual and other requisite abilities to accomplish most of our dreams in life. No wonder Napoleon Hills once said, "that whatever the mind of a man can conceive and believe, it can achieve".
Now, believing alone cannot make things happen if they cannot happen. For instance, believing that you can raise a person who has been dead for over three months ago from death is an irrational belief and it cannot happen no matter how long you may believe it. It cannot happen because you don't have the ability in you. Are you Jesus?
The basic reason why you "can" is not just because you believe, but because you already have the ability in you. Believing in yourself ie believing in what you already have in you is what you need to tap from that ability which is already in you. The formula is; if you believe in it, then you can have it. Mohamed Ali, an American heavyweight champion and Olympic gold medal holder during his life time as a boxer believed in himself so much and it helped him throughout his career as a boxer. That time he used to refer to himself as "the greatest". He believed in himself because he knew he had the abilities in himself. During that period, each time he was interviewed by the media, he used to tell his opponents and fans "I am Mohamed Ali. I am the greatest". And truly he became one of the greatest boxers in the world.
The importance of believing in yourself aka self confidence is that it stimulates optimism in those who possess it. If you believe in yourself, it arouses in you the sense of a positive outcome.  It kindles an emotion that inspires you to work harder. When you already know that you can achieve what you are trying to achieve, you will find it difficult to give up. In other words, people who believe in themselves do not easily give up on their goals or dreams. Believing in yourself will incite a never-say-never attitude in you. The fact is that some times, people who believe in themselves do fail. Yes! They miss their targets once in a while. But the good news here is that they don't use that as an excuse to give up. They do fail but they don't see failure as final. They see failure as a feedback. They see failure as a lesson. So, though such people fail, they will not give up. Rather they will change their techniques. They will look for the right way of doing what they want to do. And if they keep trying, they will at the end of the day get what they want.
Even if you are in a tight situation, and you believe you are going to come out successfully, there are 95% chances that you come out of it successfully. The reason why believing in yourself works miracle is because it gives you the impetus to take action (s) toward that which you believe is possible to happen.
Red alert! What you believe is what you get. So, be careful of what you believe about yourself. You have to make sure that you don't harbor wrong believe in your mind especially about yourself. There are people who have these wrong, negative and limiting beliefs about themselves. When they are unable to accomplish a task, what they normally say is; "I know it isn't going to workout. I know it is going to fail. I know myself. I know I cannot do it" Look! That is a very destructive mentality . I don't know the person who may posses such a mentality, but what I know is that he or she does not know the truth about him or herself. In case you the reader is one of such people, the truth is that you can accomplish most of the goals you set for yourself and even add more if you are willing to give it all it takes. My parting shot; when you believe in yourself, miracles will happen in your life.

You may also like to read:

How to be successful in life.
The golden questions about your life.
How to change any situation.